Annual reviews stink. Am I right?
I always hated getting them, and since I mostly had not-great bosses, the reviews themselves were also pretty flawed. Lots of negative feedback that came out of left field, and the worst bosses weren’t able to give me examples of the things they complained about. The better ones were a little fairer in their feedback, and even occasionally gave me things I could really work on, but I still hate the whole culture of annual reviews.
One thing I really despise is how frequently managers seem to want to turn the conversation into a personal attack. I’ve heard stories about neurodivergent people being called insensitive because they react differently than their peers, people getting called out for their natural hair, and even a couple of people being told they need to tell their colleagues more about their personal lives. Mandated intimacy, I guess?
Another thing that annoys me about the whole ritual of the annual review is the annual nature of it. It seems to me that it would be a heck of a lot more effective to give feedback in real time. Barring that (since often we can’t really hear feedback because we’re stressed), shortly thereafter. That immediacy would allow us to reflect, take the info in, and make changes accordingly. It’s hard to remember something you did 7 months ago that wasn’t up to your supervisor’s standards!
Finally, possibly the thing I hate most about annual reviews is just how often they are exercises in gaslighting. Yes, I know that word is overused these days, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a real thing. For context, the word comes from the title of a 1944 movie (based on a play, I think) in which a husband tries to trick his wife into thinking she’s crazy so that he can steal her fortune, among other things causing their gas lights to flicker and dim and then pretending nothing has happened. Your jerk of a boss probably isn’t trying to steal from you, but may very well be trying to make you unhappy enough that you quit.
So there are lots of reasons I hate annual reviews, but if you still have to survive them, here are a few tips:
- As best you can, anticipate what your boss might say about you. That way, you will at least be more emotionally prepared to deal with it.
- Ask for specific examples of anything bad.
- Try not to react to anything in the moment. It’s healthy to feel defensive and angry if the feedback feels unfair, but reacting out of that emotional place may cause you more harm.
- Focus on the positives. Re-read those sections and try to take them in.
- If it’s really unfair, refuse to sign it. The criticism doesn’t go away, but if you don’t agree, don’t let them force you into saying you do.
