Have you ever been ghosted by a workplace?
It’s a terrible feeling! You have a nice conversation with an employer or a recruiter and you’re feeling good. You’re excited about the possibility of a job—sometimes you’ve even gotten an offer. And then… silence.
What the heck?
The truth is, this happens all too frequently. And it may leave you feeling depressed, demoralized, and like you did something wrong. And pardon the cliché, but it’s not you, it’s them.
But what can you do? Should you give it a week or two and move on? Reach out again? Get drunk and complain to your friends?
The best approach is to reach out a final time, keeping things very simple: “Hey, just wondering what’s going on!” or, “Could you please let me know either way?” It may simply be the case that something has delayed things—someone got sick, for instance, or there was a holdup on some important document. It may be the case that the team had a huge deadline and they had to get that sorted before responding. Once when I was on a hiring team, we got held up because our EEO wanted to know why we weren’t interviewing a particular candidate. Fortunately, we were very clear that the candidate lacked experience in higher ed., which we had listed in the “required” section, but it still took time to sort out.
So after this last outreach, give it a few days and then let it go. If you got an offer, be sure to take a few days to be angry and mourn, but then find ways to motivate yourself to keep looking. Ultimately, my take is always that, if they’re willing to treat you that way before they’re paying you, think how they’d treat you if you took the job.
