We all make mistakes, but the ones we make at work can feel especially crummy. How can you be kind to yourself when these things happen?
First, listen to your thoughts, and take note of when you become critical or harsh with yourself. A friend of mine talks about that negative inner voice as the Itty-Bitty Sh*tty Committee, and I think that sums it up nicely! Recognize when what you’re listening to is that IBSC and remind yourself that the thoughts your brain offers you aren’t necessarily correct.
Next, acknowledge your feelings. It’s completely normal to have them, even the ones we aren’t proud of. I have often caught myself wondering how an error I’ve made is actually someone else’s fault, for instance. When I recognize that, I can laugh a little at this reaction and then figure out why I’m thinking that stuff. When critical thoughts arise, they often stem from bigger, deeper underlying emotions. What else is going on in your life? How do you feel when you see your mistake? Name those emotions and ask yourself for your own compassion. I had a colleague in grad school who would say to herself (often out loud), “Hey, you can’t talk to my friend that way!” And while that’s clearly a little cheesy, it has some value! Try to imagine what your most supportive friend would say to you about the situation.
Finally, brainstorm the best next steps. Ask yourself some questions (kindly!): “What’s one step I can take to improve this situation?” “How can I start feeling better about my mistake?” “What would [person you admire] do in this situation?” The best solutions are long-term and systemic, helping you recognize and avoid similar pitfalls in the future.
